You’re at the Thanksgiving table, plate still full, and your aunt asks when you’re finally going to slow down at work, and somebody else asks about your plans for kids, and you hear yourself laugh and say “ha, we’ll see” before excusing yourself to refill a water glass nobody asked you to refill, just so you can stand in the hallway and breathe for 5 seconds with no one talking to you. On the drive home you’re exhausted questioning why on earth you keep subjecting yourself to this. If you’re already feeling holiday anxiety and dreading the next few weeks, anxiety therapy in Sacramento can help you walk in with a plan instead of like you’re bracing for impact.
Family gatherings tend to trigger anxiety in A LOT of ways, the same comment, the same role you get handed the second you walk in the door, the same pull to smooth everything over and keep the peace… so in therapy for holiday anxiety, we figure out what yours look like and what you’d like to do differently this year. I can’t change your family, and nobody should promise you that, but we can change how much of the day you spend bracing. Most clients work with me for about six months to a year, and even a few sessions before the holidays kick off can give you something concrete to take with you as you buckle up for the next couple months of holiday chaos. Needless to say, the dread before a gathering can be worse than the gathering itself, and having a plan takes a surprising amount of the stress out of it.
We start with what’s been going on and what the holidays usually look like for you, which gatherings, which people, which moments make your chest tighten, and together we pick a couple of goals that make sense for you, including one for this particular holiday season, and you leave with something small to try. If you’d like to get a feel for me first, I offer a free intro call, and I see clients online mornings, daytime, and the occasional evening, which helps when your December calendar is already booked out.
Here are three things I tell clients about holiday anxiety, borrowed straight from how I work.
First, decide ahead of time what you actually want from the day, just one thing, like leaving on time or having one real conversation with your cousin, because it’s a lot easier to make intentional choices in the moment when you know what you’re steering toward.
Second, plan your exit before you need it, a walk to “grab something from the car,” a quick call to a friend, a bathroom reset. Third, practice your boundaries beforehand, in the car or the shower, something like “I’m not sure yet, I’ll let you know” or “I’d rather not get into that today,” because a sentence you’ve already said once is much easier to say in the moment when you’re caught off guard and want to regress into familiar roles.
If you want the full version, my holiday survival toolkit is over on my paid Substack, Well, Actually. I created it with some of my favorite things I share with clients this time of year and it’s an amazing resource for this time of year.
Thanksgiving is November 26, and reaching out now means we can start before the calendar fills up with school concerts, work parties, and whoever is hosting what.
I specialize in therapy for high-achieving women who can run a board meeting and can’t get through a to-do list without spiraling. I’ve been doing this work for over a decade, and have helped hundreds of women. I’m a recovering over-achiever myself, so you don’t have to explain the 2am spiral to me.
I offer online individual therapy anywhere in California, including Elk Grove and Sacramento, no commute required. We go at whatever pace actually works for you, even when that means having the same conversation for three sessions before it finally clicks. You’ll walk away with concrete tools for the actual moments, the text you’re rereading, the meeting you’re replaying, not just fifty minutes of me nodding along
If you’re ready to get started, book a free intro call to see whether we’re a good fit, or read more about my approach on my therapy for anxiety page first.
Holistic Therapist, Nutritional Therapy Practitioner and Yoga Instructor in Elk Grove, California.
